Thursday, April 29, 2010

Update: Conscious Breath & Sophia ~ By Lea Hamann

Artist: Lea Hamann

Conscious Breath and Sophia
by Lea Hamann
September, 2008

New Breath Newsletter Article

It is one of the first autumn days. The weather has suddenly grown very cold, about 41 degrees (5°Celsius). Some weeks ago we saw Norma and Garret in Hamburg. I shared with them an idea to invite Breath Teachers to contribute their experiences in the newsletter. Garret said: Great, go ahead and write something then.” Today seems like the perfect writing day. It’s cold outside and I can sit in my comfortable chair with my favorite tea and some music and – well – write.

Some time ago I would have started thinking about what is appropriate. What would “they” want me to write. What suits the topic and so on. But today I feel I can just trust that what I have to say suits the occasion. It’s funny that we all have something to share, we all have something to say, even if we aren’t aware of it all the time. And it seems to me that this kind of sharing what we feel, experience and learn has nothing to do with vanity. It’s a natural flow that just wants to flow. Just like our breath.

When I was very young, about 5 or six years old I noticed this feeling within me, that there is something that I have forgotten. Something was there, I couldn’t say what it was. I felt that something would happen, that I would maybe do something, someday. Funny thing was that when the time came to choose a profession I had no idea what I wanted to do. I kept looking outside, I kept talking to people, to my class mates, to friends and aunts and uncles. The only thing that I knew about me was that I could easily handle different languages, I could write well and I had a talent for painting and for all things that had to do with creativity. So what could I do?

I felt the only thing I could do without completely going off track was studying art. After finishing my final exams at school, I got together with some friends and we prepared to apply for art school. In Germany art schools are very picky about taking on new students. Most art teachers or local artists are people who failed to get accepted to art school. So I focused all my energy on getting accepted. We painted day and night and prepared to send in samples of our work to different art academies.

Everyone told us how difficult it would be. After sending in your application and waiting for the reply maybe 40 people would be invited to take a test. You had to be at the art academy for some days, every day passing different tests. Out of maybe 40 applicants only 15 would be invited to get a personal interview with all the professors of the academy. So I sent away my applications to almost any art school in the country. And then we waited.

After some weeks we got letters and to my great surprise I was invited to almost all the art academies where I had applied. I took their tests and I talked with the professors and I got accepted. Berlin, Dusseldorf, Frankfurt, Hamburg… Wow. I could choose where to go. That was weird. When I finally decided to study in Frankfurt and moved there, I was disappointed. I had imagined to meet all these very gifted artists who would help me nurture my talent and help me express myself further. Instead I realized that most people only wanted to talk about art. After talking about it they wanted to know what kind of person you were. Please be some kind of disturbed person, difficult childhood, sensitive, good looking and know the right people. Only then you will get ahead in this business.

At first I truly tried to fit in. I changed my clothes, my attitude, my language and my friends. But it didn’t make me feel good. The more my professor was happy with me, the more I got invited to fancy art gallery showings, the more I lost all my sense of joy. I felt empty and very sad at times. All the parties we went to, all the alcohol we drank didn’t fill this feeling of emptiness.

One day I went to the library and checked out almost all the books on depression that I could find. Most books didn’t tell me much. They said get up early, take more walks and if it doesn’t work take medication for it. But one of the books said that when you are depressed you stop breathing deeply, and that causes the empty feeling. There was a “Are you still breathing” test that I took. Wow, I didn’t breathe at all. So I started with some of the breathing exercises from the book.

One day I remembered that you could do things like meditation. So I sat down, did my breathing and closed my eyes. I remember that it was Pentecost day. Instead of my usual rush of thoughts there was a feeling that I could go somewhere in my imagination. At first I went to some mountain in the USA and sat with a lady. She didn’t say anything, we just sat there silently. After a while I was flying to India and sat with an old man on a mountain. He didn’t say anything as well. After some time I came back. Wow, what was that? At the same moment I felt a loud popping sound over my head. I looked up but couldn’t see anything. But I felt something weird over the top of my head. No, it couldn’t be. But I still felt a huge flame over my head.

Totally bewildered I called my friend Laura on the phone. Hey Laura, something weird happened to me. Do you think I could be enlightened? We almost broke down laughing. She wanted to know all about it. How do you feel? Do you have some amazing insights? But sadly I felt as normal as before. No eternal bliss. Just a huge flame over my head that wouldn’t go away.

Some months I started working with Norma. When I heard that Norma could help people to breathe in their divinity and connect with their soul, I thought that would be a grand idea. So I started to learn to breathe in a different way. More gently, more softly, with compassion for myself. My only focus was to be able to lead a normal life. Be able to walk and talk and not being blown away all the time. But as it turned out, I got much more than that. Norma is right when she says: Breathe at your own risk.

The more I liked my breathing and felt comfortable with it I opened up and connected more deeply with myself. I started to tap into a grand love that lives within me. And I even remembered that feeling that there is something waiting for me. Through breathing I managed to remember more and more. Norma was kind enough to ask me questions from time to time. She asked me for the name of the energy that I am channeling. Hm, it took me some time to get closer to the answer. I felt so close to that love, so nicely flowing with it that I had a hard time to become aware of what that was. As I am a Pisces, it is sometimes not easy for me to focus and become really clear. But breath by breath clarity came.

And one day I realized that Sophia is with me. My beloved Sophia who has been patiently waiting for me. In early 2007 I began channeling Sophia more openly. Sometimes I look through my old eyes of the teenage art student and wonder: Where is this breath taking me? One thing is sure, it has taken me out of the ordinary. At the beginning of my spiritual adventure I checked regularly: What would my friends say? And as I travelled further and further I knew that I had crossed the line that said: You are normal. I am no longer “normal”. All my efforts to fit in have been in vain.

Yesterday we did the monthly Sophia Channel. I was amazed at how much clearer her energy can shine through now. Instead of trying to act like someone I realized that I truly start being someone. I know that this breath has led me on this way to become more of myself. Not only feeling not only knowing and talking - but truly becoming myself. And who would have known what I truly am? Who would have known that our true self doesn’t fit into any category?

On my journey I had to learn that you cannot be yourself and at the same time be humble and small and fit in. I’m still trying from time to time, but I always come to the same conclusion. The breath of my true self is so unique, so complete. I don’t need an art academy to tell me who I am.

To come to the end of my essay, I feel once again amazed that it was truly breathing compassionately, that has transformed my life and me. Not thinking, not talking but truly dedicating myself to breathe compassion for myself over and over. That is what changed me. Today I am teaching and practicing conscious breathing in my sessions and seminars. Sophia and I have taken our breath and we are letting it flow further. And who knows where it will take us? So I send you a breath of love and gratitude and look forward to the adventures that all of us are about to discover.

Artist: Lea Hamann

By the way: I am painting again. I allowed myself to find my original joy in painting once again. Every Thursday I go to a small art school in our town and paint. I wouldn’t want to hear what my professor from art school would say about it – but I really like it. Sometimes I smile because I never told anyone that I have once studied art. They don’t know that I talked to many of the artists that they admire. It’s my little secret?


Lea Hamann

Matthias Kreis {Lea's Partner}

About Lea Hamann: Born in 1982, Lea Hamann is working as a facilitator and a compassionate guide for those going through their spiritual awakening process. She teaches breathwork and helps people to reconnect with their feminine energy in individual sessions and seminars. Lea Hamann has been working with and embodying the feminine energies for a number of years now. She began channeling Sophia in public in 2007. Since March 2007 Sophia speaks through her in monthly channels. Sophia invites us to reacquaint ourselves with and receive the feminine energy of our soul. Since then Sophia’s wisdom and love have become inseparable from Lea’s work. The monthly channels are free and available on our website.

Contact: Email: Website:


featuring Norma Delaney
With Her Partner Garret
Breath Mentors~Norma Delaney and E. Garret Annofsky